You don't get cut loose without a gatekeeper's approval.

TL;DR - Leveling up costs you part of your old crew every time, and that loss is the gatekeeper's approval nobody warned you about, proof the water underneath you just got bigger.

Hi everyone,

Mike and I have both said some version of the same thing about the water: you don't get handed a boat and told you're ready. Someone has to ride with you first.

On the boats, before a steersman apprentice can run a wheel alone, a captain who has never worked with him has to clear him first. Not his own trainer, someone brand new, so there's no favor to call in. That captain is the gatekeeper, deciding whether this man is ready to be cut loose, because turning someone loose too early puts every crew near him in danger too. Mike watches guys get pushed through anyway, because the office needs wheelmen and pressure beats patience. The corners that got cut on the way up show up later as damage nobody saw coming.

We run the same license in this office. My supervisees don't get handed a caseload because they showed up with a master's degree and an opinion. They earn the gatekeeper's approval one supervision hour at a time. How they take the feedback along the way is the actual test, not the degree. An associate who thinks their opinion should count on day one hasn't been anywhere near enough water yet to know what they don't know. The gatekeeping is the only thing standing between a client and a clinician who's still finding their own footing.

Here's what nobody tells you about earning the gatekeeper's approval: you lose your old crew doing it. The friends who got sober alongside you were exactly right for that stretch of water. So were the ones who taught you the ropes on your first boat. They are not automatically right for the next stretch. That's not betrayal, and nothing is wrong with them. You're just standing in different depths of water now.

What actually works, once you notice the water changing, is building your voyage plan out loud instead of waiting to be invited into a new crew. Before Mike takes an unfamiliar route, he names his bailout point while he's still standing at the dock, the exit built in before he ever needs it. A treatment plan does the same job, giving you something steadier than your own certainty to fall back on when the ego gets loud and insists you don't need one.

The people worth keeping on this crew are the ones who don't need your win explained to them and don't need you to shrink it either. Everyone else was never really crew. They were just standing on the same dock for a while.

Who on your crew actually earned the gatekeeper's approval, and who are you keeping around out of habit because you used to dock together?

Mike and I get into the Lindsay Clancy case and why LPC associates having their own private practice terrifies both of us, this and more in the full conversation. New episodes drop every week.

My Reads of the Week

A within-person investigation of recovery identity following substance use disorder Frontiers in Public Health, February 2025: Recovery identity moves day to day, and the days it dips are exactly when your community earns its keep. This study followed 91 people in recovery community centers for ten straight evenings and found that meeting attendance buffered the drop in meaningfulness on the days recovery identity was weakest, while simply having access to a community center did not show the same effect. That's the case for building a new crew instead of coasting on the old one: the room has to be doing something on your bad days, not just existing there.

Tolerating Ambiguity: Counselor Educators' Perceptions of Gatekeeping Administration Journal of Counselor Preparation and Supervision, November 2025: Gatekeeping is supposed to be mechanical, does this person meet the bar. In practice it's one of the most emotionally loaded calls a supervisor makes, and this study sat with twelve counselor educators wrestling with exactly that tension, the vague dispositions, the faculty anxiety, the fear of getting the call wrong in either direction. It's the same weight Mike described carrying as a gatekeeper on the water, the weight of taking a responsibility seriously instead of rushing past it.

Relation Between Locus of Control, Personality Traits and Academic Achievement Lecture Notes in Education Psychology and Public Media, January 2024: Locus of control visibly strengthens as competence and education increase, this analysis found, with the correlation between self-efficacy and internal control growing stronger, not weaker, as people became more capable. That flips the story most people tell themselves about needing to feel in control before they can start earning it. Turn it inward first, and the capability follows behind it.

Wisdom Nugget

Biological family can genuinely hinder recovery, and that's not something to feel guilty about. The people who actually help you stay sober are the ones who show up consistently, keep their promises instead of just making them, and can say "I love you AND I'm not going to bail you out of this one" without flinching. That's different from the enabling that removes consequences and keeps you small, and it's different from the codependency that blurs where you end and someone else begins. A chosen crew built on interdependence, mutual support between two whole people who still have separate identities, is what actually proves you're worth showing up for.

Read more

Hot Takes

"Fake it till you make it..." (YouTube)

"Are you in recovery or just sober?" (YouTube)

"What are you striving towards?" (YouTube)

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The essence of our mission at Atomic Souls transcends the realms of recovery and stability; it's about igniting the flame of purpose and passion within each soul we encounter. Join us.

Thanks for reading,

Rachel

p.s. If this is our first introduction, hi, I’m Rachel, founder and CEO of Atomic Souls Counseling. I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor (LPC-S) and a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor (LCDC). After years in the trenches as a clinician, I discovered that my real passion isn’t just helping clients heal; it’s helping therapists thrive.

I’ve built Atomic Souls into more than a counseling practice; it’s a place where healing and business intelligence meet. I work with therapists, counselors, and practice owners to help them build sustainable, ethical, and profitable practices. Together, we focus on strategy, systems, and the economics of growth the behind-the-scenes work that allows you to keep showing up fully for your clients without burning out.

My approach blends clinical wisdom with business strategy. I coach on everything from pricing models and team structure to marketing, leadership, and scaling, all while maintaining your integrity and purpose. I believe you can be both a gifted clinician and a confident entrepreneur; those two identities don’t have to compete.

Through Atomic Souls, I’ve built a community where mental health professionals support one another, share resources, and turn purpose into sustainable success. Whether you’re just starting out or ready to expand, I’m here to help you build a practice that aligns with your values and fuels your life, not drains it.

If you’re a therapist ready to step into the next chapter of your career with clarity and confidence, let’s connect.

I write about the business of healing: strategy, systems, and soul for therapists who want to build thriving, values-driven practices on my blog.

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